She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
