Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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