If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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