Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
