Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Michael Bay diarrhea
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
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