Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I'm sobbing to NWA
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
