i don't like sucking hair
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
