; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
