Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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