Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Vodka?
Forever.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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