Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
