She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
