I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
