you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Randomize
