She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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