my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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