Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
