yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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