it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
