I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
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