Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Randomize
