I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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