Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
