I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Randomize
