can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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