I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
