If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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