Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize