i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
