i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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