I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Randomize
