Walk of Shame. In a state park.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
