finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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