You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
