oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Randomize