I hate your face
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
