he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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