It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
