How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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