I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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