We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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