No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
