I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Randomize
