Dual....:-)
dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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