I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize