No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
