Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
My underwear smells like fireworks.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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