he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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