He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Randomize
