Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
