Where did you get a picture of my penis
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
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