For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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