I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
