I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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