I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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