I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
i think i scared a bird with my dick
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
