I puked a lego.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
