is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Randomize
