Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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