she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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