No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize