His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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