I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
