He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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