dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
